Inspira Health Network, Inc.

FALL 2017

Spirit of Women magazine is a national publication presented to women by hospitals and their physicians. The magazine provides up-to-date, evidence-based healthcare information and promotes our hospitals as leaders in women's health excellence.

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31 "It's important to talk to kids not about how scary drugs are, but about how one of the most exciting things about growing up is that their brain is developing into their early 20s, and what they can do to have a healthy brain," says Dr. Gray. In that conversation, parents can talk about nutrition, reading, exercise, and also "about how when people try to use substances, they can be particularly dangerous to the developing brain," he explains. "Focus on the use of substances as a physiological issue, about what they do to the brain and what the risks are, and why some people are more susceptible to them than others," says Jane Engelken, a Virginia-based licensed professional counselor and substance abuse treatment practitioner, and a clinical director at The Phoenix House, a national nonprofit drug and alcohol rehabilitation center. Engelken says the conversation should include any family history of drug and alcohol abuse, along with genetic predisposition to addiction problems. "Some kids have very open communication with their parents about this subject because of alcoholism and drug addiction in Before having even an initial discussion with your child about drugs and alcohol, it may be helpful to evaluate your family's own culture around these substances, since questions are likely to arise about parents' personal habits. "When you talk about avoiding substances, kids might say 'but you drink wine every night.' Of course, as an adult, parents get to make their own decisions, especially because the brain is fully formed. But it can be a tough question to navigate," says Jane Engelken, a Virginia- based licensed substance abuse treatment practitioner. Addressing that seeming hypocrisy is important if parents hope that kids will be at least somewhat transparent about their own use, says South Carolina psychiatrist Dr. Kevin M. Gray. "It's developmentally normal for kids not to go to their parents first if they experiment with drugs or alcohol, but they will feel more comfortable going to parents if they are a receptive audience," says Dr. Gray. To that end, he says, "a back-and-forth conversation is better than a mandate." As a parent, it can be helpful to understand how different kinds of brains are more susceptible to substance use. High stimulation seekers, socially anxious kids and those going through periods of transition like a divorce or a change of schools or housing, for example, might be more likely to turn to substances. In those situations, parents need to make a special effort to help kids find other activities that are stimulating or calming. Mindfulness and meditation can be good healthy coping devices in cases of trauma, stress and depression, says Jane Engelken, a Virginia-based licensed substance abuse treatment practitioner. Who's most at risk? "Kids seem to understand and appreciate the scientific discussion of substances, and the risks involved, better than 'it's bad, don't do it,' or 'it's wrong.'" their family, and talking about it in comparison to other health conditions can really take the shame away from it," says Engelken. In general, "kids seem to understand and appreciate the scientific discussion of substances, and the risks involved, better than 'it's bad, don't do it,' or 'it's wrong,'" she adds. Be realistic Even though the goal of a substance abuse discussion usually is persuading kids not to use alcohol and drugs at all, experts say parents should be realistic: Despite your best efforts, there is still the possibility your child will try alcohol or drugs at a party or with friends. If there is an open, ongoing dialogue, however, you'll have a greater opportunity to talk to your child about taking safety precautions. For example, you can make sure your child understands not to drive or get in a car with someone who has been drinking or experimenting with a drug. This conversation should include assurances that your child's safety is the most important thing, and that you won't punish him or her for calling to get a ride or other help in an unsafe situation. Jane Engelken, clinical director at The Phoenix House, a national nonprofit drug and alcohol rehabilitation center Do as I say, not as I do…

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