9
F A M I L Y S T Y L E
w w w. s p i r i t o f w o m e n . c o m FA L L 2 015 S P I R I T O F W O M E N
By Stephanie Thompson
family counselor…
SHUTTERSTOCK
asking friends for names of counselors even though initially
it might seem embarrassing.
"Seeing a counselor can often have this hush-hush stigma
about it, but we all have problems and we'd be better off if
we talked about that openly with family, friends and people
in the community," she says.
Look for licensed and certified counselors trained
specifically for your issues, like marriage counseling or
depression or trauma, says Patton. State counseling boards
can be good resources, as can insurance companies.
After you've found a good candidate, start by scheduling
just a single visit, says Patton: "Sometimes someone might
have the right qualifications, but they're just not a good
match" for your family.
"Everyone is not for everyone, and a first-time visit is
the chance for the therapist to interview you, and for you
to interview them," says Dr. Royster. "It's all about fit, like
a pair of jeans."
•
A
n outside perspective can be invaluable
for family problems that just aren't getting
resolved. But how do you know when it's time
to book an appointment with a professional
family counselor?
"When you see a persistent or significant shift in one
or more family members, and none of the usual tricks like
talking about it amongst the family or with a regular pastor
or religious leader seems to work," you should make the
call, says Dr. Tanya Royster, a psychiatrist affiliated with
Franciscan St. James Health, Olympia Fields, Ill.
Watching for changes in family members and assessing
those changes is key, agrees Gary Patton, director of
the Mental Health Counseling and Employee Assistance
Program at St. Mary's Medical Center in Huntington, W.Va.
"I tell people to watch for frequency, intensity and duration
when it comes to problems that might necessitate an
appointment with a counselor," says Patton. Like a wellness
visit with a healthcare provider, a visit to a family counselor
can help identify a family's strengths and help them figure
things out before the situation gets really bad, or prevent it
from getting worse.
"The family is a system, and like a multi-pronged teeter-
totter, if one arm is broken, then everything can fall apart,"
explains Dr. Royster.
FINDING HELP
The first place to inquire about family counseling is your
primary care physician, says Dr. Royster, who also suggests
• Violence or threats of violence between family members
• Drug and/or alcohol abuse
• Withdrawal from family life
• Persistent behavioral problems at school or home
• Recent trauma, such as death or divorce
When you
need a good
Signs
that it's time for
professional help