Henry County Medical Center

SUM 2016

Spirit of Women magazine is a national publication presented to women by hospitals and their physicians. The magazine provides up-to-date, evidence-based healthcare information and promotes our hospitals as leaders in women's health excellence.

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3 1 w w w. s p i r i t o f w o m e n . c o m S U M M E R 2 016 S P I R I T O F W O M E N SHUTTERSTOCK example). But don't forward the messages to others, even with a "Can you believe this?" disclaimer. You want to stop the dissemination of the message, not continue it. If your child seems unusually moody or has changes in behavior, Dr. Cates recommends asking him or her about online interactions. Just like a disagreement at school, an online exchange can be powerful in preteen and teen friendships. Say something. If your kids feel like they are being embarrassed online, talk to a teacher, coach or other authority figure with appropriate jurisdiction. Schools today are trained to take cyberbullying seriously, so don't worry you'll be told that kids will be kids if you bring questionable behavior to the attention of the school administration. Many state laws now allow schools to oversee these issues even when incidents happen in places other than school grounds. In general, says Dr. Cates, it's better for parents to let the school sort out issues rather than for one parent to go directly to another, but you'll need to weigh the specifics of your situation. If you think there's a real threat, he adds, don't hesitate to go to the police and let them investigate. Don't be embarrassed. Parents of the bully may struggle to admit their child has a problem, Dr. Cates says. Bullying can be a sign of depression or other emotional problems, he explains, and the behavior may make some kids feel as if they are more powerful. If your child is the bully, don't ignore the problem but seek professional counseling for him or her before the situation escalates. Limit screen time. A little balance for kids (and adults too) when it comes to electronic devices can't hurt. • T hanks to the Internet and social media, the realm of playground bullies has expanded from the schoolyard to the home via your family's electronic devices. "[Bullying] used to be a topic of conversation during adolescence, but with social media, it now can happen as soon as the child is old enough to use electronics," says Dr. Meghan Fels, a pediatrician affiliated with North Colorado Medical Center, Greeley, Colo. In fact, a 2011 survey from the Centers for Disease Control found that more than 16 percent of kids reported being cyberbullied, and electronic communication usage has only increased since then. The term "cyberbullying" applies to any aggressive behavior that takes place on electronic devices, whether it's posting embarrassing photos on a social media network, sending mean text messages or forwarding overt threats via email. Some cyberbullying can be harder to parse, such as setting up fake profiles on social networks. But just because cyberbullying is potentially more prevalent doesn't mean kids or parents have to put up with it (or go off the grid). Experts like Dr. Fels say there are things you can do to prevent cyberbullying from happening in the first place, and effective strategies for coping if it does happen. Be proactive. Talk to your kids about how the Internet works. This shouldn't be a one-time lecture but an ongoing conversation. Discuss how people often feel more comfortable saying rude or abusive things online than face to face. Urge them not to "friend" or interact with people they don't know. Tell them how hard it is to remove anything from the Internet after it is posted. And remind them that nothing online is really private. Dr. Fels says her rule for her patients is, "If you don't want your grandmother to see it, it should not be on there." Know their passwords. It's not a privacy issue when it comes to kids, says Dr. Jarod Cates, a pediatrician with Franciscan St. Elizabeth Health, Lafayette, Ind. If your kids have their own phones (or iPads or other devices that connect to the Internet), ask them for their passwords and devote time to learning what they are discussing in their digital world. And let your children know that you'll be checking: For many kids, this makes them feel protected and safe (even if they won't admit it). Pay attention. Record dates and times of incidents that concern you (take a screen shot with your phone, for Online resources To learn more about how to handle cyberbullying, tap into these online resources: • American Academy of Pediatrics www.safetynet.aap.org www.Healthychildren.org • American Psychological Association www.apa.org/topics/bullying • U.S. Department of Health & Human Services www.stopbullying.gov

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